I'm still here.
Truth is, i've written lots of things, just none of those things have actually been able to make it to the official published page. They stay hidden from you, but taunt me with red italicized letters reminding me that my drafted post is way to emotional for you right now, they're my raw thoughts, and in a folder they will remain.
Nannying is hard.
Everyday I leave there exhausted and wonder how I will ever be able to be mom and do this 24/7.
But lets be honest, I am like a mom to these girls.
The other day I stood at the door with their mom and we discussed whether or not she should put the youngest one in preschool yet or wait another year.
Me! She talked to me about it! Her employee!
We talk about the best ways to get Kylie to eat her dinner instead of always eating pb&j sandwiches. When ever it comes time to cook dinner, Cambree always asks to sit on the counter and watch me. Shes learning to talk really well, we can actually have many conversations now.
Mark always offers to help me with my car and Stacey always tells me how much she appreciates me.
This job is hard, but its worth it.
Tonight I sit in my torn up sweatpants, and a boys warm up jacket. (A boy? My boy? The boy?)
Its ten till midnight and Rebecca is making cookies while we sing along to her pandora.
Shes sleeping with me tonight in the party bed because Adriana is off being legit and helping Romney campaign in Colorado. I don't know how, but I once again lucked out with my roommates. We all clicked so instantly, and our personalities even everyone else's out.
I often thing about going home. Its a reoccurring thought in my head.
I've wanted to go home since I got here, but its not because I don't like Utah, I just really really like home. This thought is pressured by many different circumstances going on in my brain that I can't control. I push them out and go to work, or school, or lyndsis. I work through it because this place is my home.
It snowed today.
I bought the new TSwift CD.
and I painted my nails this cool mint color.
Things are good.
Settle down, it'll all be clear
Don't pay no mind to the demons
They fill you with fear
The trouble it might drag you down
If you get lose, you can always be found
Just know you're not alone
Cause i'm going to make this place your home.
