My life is pretty bland.

I woke up this morning and thought, "Man, I can't wait to come home and nap."
True Life: I'm the most interesting college kid ever <- LIE.
I am so boring, SO BORING.
Let me tell you, I love being by myself, thats weird right?
But I love it, and i'm so good at it - ask my roommates.
I love being able to sit in my room with my headphones on and watch my tv shows, or blog, or actually write in my real life journal.  I don't always have to have plans and I don't always have to be going somewhere.
I love to watch movies, and I love to sit in one place and not move for hours.
I don't really remember being this way before college - but I have small memories of when I was.
Before I came to Utah I was a taxi.

Picked kids up for seminary, drove to school, went to practice, drove home, got Brad from Mrs. Rhondas, drove Jesse to piano, let Brad ride his bike during piano lessons, drove home, drove myself to tutoring, drove Jesse to tutoring, sometimes pit stopped good ol bojangles for me and the boys.

I am not in any way trying to say my parents were absent in this time of my high school life.  My parents worked their butts off for our family AND provided me with a car, with a car came responsibilities and those responsibilities included my brothers - which I love and enjoy driving them places.

Anyways, I always felt like when I did have time to myself...it wasn't really too myself.  I could always hear Bradley running around and playing, and Jesses guitar going which is usually why I sought refuge in other places - like Rachels house.  But here, at college, its almost ALWAYS quiet in my apartment.  This may be because my roommates have lives and don't like sitting by themselves, so they're always gone - or they're just never loud.  I love it.  I'm not used to having all this time to...sit.  I love it, and I take advantage of it.  I have come to terms with the fact that I may be the most boring kid.

More Examples:

This boy in my math class asks me every monday how my weekend was, what did I do, that kinda thing.  I always pause, laugh, and tell him I did nothing.  Sometimes he looks astonished, but I think he is getting used to it.  He also asked what things I had done around Provo since I had been here, I replied, "ummm, i've been to Sammys, the mall, the tumbling gym and the McDonalds down the street." I have SUCH an interesting life.

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Somedays I do things for myself, even though I know I don't need too.  Sometimes I splurge and buy subway at school, sometimes I go to TJ MAXX and buy things that excite me.

I did that yesterday with Adriana.

I am now a proud owner of...

-6 pairs of socks, all bright colored, and every set had a different smiley face with a different mood.

-I also own a new pair of pretty crappy purple head phones.  (I'm really bad with headphones, I always break them so only one ear works unless you hold the wire in just the right place.)

-AND a travel mug so now I can bring hot chocolate to school with me.  I love this little guy.  He is green and has skateboarders all over him.  (I would have picked a cute more girly one but none of them had a opening that could be shut, so I went for the tomboy 5 year old one.)

Buying these three things made me more happy than you could imagine, and I know it was totally worth the money!

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I am obsessed with pinterest.  Awesome right?  Because I of all people need one more thing to be addicted to.   If you've never done it, or looked at it, you should.  Never once in my life have I ever really thought about my wedding, or what I want, or the colors, or decorations or anything.  I've never been that girl.  But on pinterest I have a board called, "The Most Ballin Wedding Ever" and it is anything and everything that I could probably want and will probably never actually do - but the ideas are so cute!  I also have a board where I pretend i'm this really awesome baker and can make all these delicious desserts and easy dinners for my families or roommates.  When in reality, thats not me either.  I can make a dang good grilled cheese, and thats about my extent right now.  But I pretend I can! And that I have all the ingredients I need to make "Cheesey Quesadilla Puffs"  Really, this site is awesome, and you should probably become addicted too.

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Although I was not an avid Harry Potter book reader, I was at the movie theater every midnight premiere standing in line waiting for the doors to be opened.  I saw this video on one of my friends walls and had to repost it.  I thought it was absolutely beautiful, and almost brought some tears.

please enjoy.

So remember that time...

When you thought you were really cool, and then realized you probably weren't?
This happens to me quite often.
-In the 6th grade it was that my locker was on the 7th grade hallway
-In the 7th grade it was that I was able to run for the full ten minutes during PE.
-In the 8th grade it was the fact that I had the same purse as one of the 'coolest' girls in the grade.
(I loved that purse with all my heart, it was a brown ROXY one and I even put buttons on it.)
-Also in the 8th grade I decided that I was 'too cool' to run for the full ten minutes, so I walked it.
-My freshman year it was that I dyed my hair pink - only for it to fade a few days later and I was left with bleached tips.
-My sophomore year it was that I had the boy I wanted for the longest time, and I was able to walk to his house.
-My junior year I carried around a bright yellow book bag that had my sisters name on it.
-My senior year I stayed out late with boys, and kissed a lot of them.
-These days I walk into Maceys with all my roommates, all loud, all obnoxious, and we go grocery shopping together.
In these moments, I think i'm pretty cool.  Who wouldn't like college kids filling up there grocery store, being annoying and shoving themselves into carts and weaving in and out of incoming traffic, and of course stopping in the middle of aisles for well needed pictures.  One day I will look back and probably talk about how dumb I was, but for now, I love me.  In my middle school days I loved my brown purse, I loved play cops and robbers  in the hall way after cleaning the lunch tables.  I was on the CUTEST boys top 8 friend list (number one in fact) and I walked into class right on time.  I dyed my hair and carried book bags that didn't belong to me.  I hugged boys in the hallway, ate my bojangles during class, and did everything but study.

I loved me then, and I love me now.  Isn't that whats important?  Loving yourself.  Even when youre dumb, and you make a fool out of yourself - as long as you can laugh at yourself its all you need.  I've found that our a lot since i've been here.  I get sad a lot, I miss my family, and being warm.  But its nights like tonight, where i'm able to be annoying in a grocery store where i'm about to apply for a job at, that i'm alright.  I was put in an apartment with girls who I KNOW I was meant to meet.  I prayed and prayed that I would be put with girls who could understand me, girls who wouldn't be catty and wouldn't judge me.  (If you knew me in high school, you would realize that the extent of girls that I was friends with reached to about...three) These girls are just what I needed, just what I wanted.

oh my gosh, we all love each other

Talk about an emotional week.
I was supposed to go home this week for fall break, guess who didn't go home, me.
Emotional wreck.
I looked straight out of a movie.  I found out all the flights were full, packed my bag back up, hugged my pillowpet and walked to the bathroom.  You know those movies where girls have no friends on the first day of school so they sit in the stall and cry? That was me, only not because I didn't have friends, it was because I didn't have a plane to get on.  Then I had to scour my way through Salt Lake City to find the trax station and let me tell you, SLC is sketchy.  I don't appreciate that place at all.  So three buses, and three hours later I finally made it home and my roommates were there to make me feel better.  That is why I love them.

On one of the buses I rode I met an old man.  To be honest, I was super angry when he started talking to me because I was in no mood to carry on a conversation with him.  Anyways, he asked me about baxter, my pillow pet.  I told him it was a duck and then he told me a story about how in Maine if you don't keep your ducks fenced in - if they escape and someone else finds them, then that person is allowed to charge you 25 cents per duck, and a certain amount of  money per day till you build something to keep them in.  Please let that be a law in Utah, someone let some ducks free, and pay me to give them back - talk about a deal.  He also told me a story about his daughter.  Her and her husband wanted to adopt but she had a dream and saw her father-in-law holding the hand of a little boy.  That is when she knew she needed to have another child instead of adopting one.  This nice old man told me these stories at least three more times.   It turns out he doesn't have that awesome of a memory, at all.  But he did cheer me up, and made one of those bus rides much more enjoyable.

I've also had two super awesome talks with two different guy friends of mine.  One was till three in the morning, one was today on the way to the airport.  The same subjects were covered in each talk, just from different point of views.  One from a boy who had a difficult up-bringing but found the church adn found his way, and one from someone who had the church all his life, had some difficulties, and served an honorable mission.  Both are some of my best friends, both made me feel better about all my questions and thoughts.  I love these people.

Also today we had a photoshoot, compliments of Coralee, of course.  She should really be paid to do this kinda thing, and she will take my engagement/wedding pictures, hands down. In all honesty, check this mess out.  She is SO LEGIT. I am just so amazed every time I'm able to see the outcome, and not gonna lie, I really really love being the prop. Sometimes, she also likes to dress like a gypsy - we approve.

I got the BEST birthday package from my mamaw the other day.  She sent me sheets to help keep me warm when it gets cold here, I already put them on.  They are the most comfortable, warm, lovable sheets ever.  Also, she sent me lots of candy and lotion and perfume.  The cool thing about that lotion&perfume is it is the same kind that my mamaw wears! And if ya'll dont know, my mamaw is awesome and I want to be just like her, so now I love the fact that I can smell like her.  Get at me.

"Be Strong, because things will get better.  It may be stormy, but it can't rain forever"

Its My Birthday!

freshman year!
I was a shy little one fresh into high school.  This is when I came to visit Lyndi, its actually taken in GlenHOOD, ironic.  I had no idea what I was doing with my life.  All I knew was that I was going to play in powderpuff football, and that I didn't want to come to school in utah.  Funny how things change.



Sophomore Year!
A little baby 15 year old.  I spent all my days at this girls house, and snugged lots on that futon right behind us.  I loved disney movies, great wok, and a boy. This was also the time of the Fantastic Four.  We loved each other, played guitar hero all day, and watched lots of movies.

Junior Year.
Whoa man, talk about drama.  But I turned sixteen, cooked hot dogs and ate 3 cookie cakes.  I loved my junior year.  I stayed tight with Rachel, and made lots of new friends who would soon change my life so much. My junior year I still wanted to go to school in North Carolina, and my heart was free.

Senior Year.
                                                                          The year I stole some boyfriends, friendships fell apart, new ones fell together.  It wasn't until then that I knew I wanted to leave North Carolina to come out West.  I knew it would be hard, but I truely had no idea what I was getting myself into. I wanted something new, I wanted out of Lake Norman - college seemed like the perfect opportunity.  I made lots of new friends that I wish I had had all the other years of high school.  After all the drama, and heartaches, I loved my last year.



This is my life now.  I want to be a teacher.  I don't want to raise a family in Utah.  I want to have lots of fun.  My heart is filled with love and greatfulness, I've learned so much about myself since i've been here.  My awesome roommates decorated my room, took me out to dinner (twice), and loved me.  Me and Adriana snugged as Kolby played his guitar.  We all sat and talked as Coralee uploaded pictures.  Then we ate caramel apples that Katelyn made.  It has been the best birthday, ever.

PS: The unorganization of the pictures is really annoying me, but its to frustrating to try and figure out.

Want a Good Time?

Just in case you stalk my blog more than you stalk my facebook, heres an update with the roommates.  This is exactly that it looks like.  We have made a promise that when you kiss, snug, or hold hands with a boy, you must owe the other roommates a prize. Pretty much the best idea ever.  Only we're starting fresh, which means all those boys Adriana and Jenna have already snugged/kissed/held hands with don't count.  And if you do one of these things with a boy you have already done that with, it still doesn't count.  Does that make sense? It must be a new boy, and a new activity.  I'm not sure how we came up with the idea, but i think its a pretty legit one if I say so myself.  Adriana is going to be oweing us lots and lots of ice cream.  One day this week, we're going to make prediction of where we think each roommate will end up at the end of the semester.  This is how we bond. 

There are even more girls that I love besides the ones in my apartment! They are the ones on my team.  Honestly, with out those girls, I wouldn't still be running.  They are the ones that push me through every workout, and they make sure we all stay together, as a team.  I love these girls, and I love this team. The other day I was talking to one of the girls and she told me how its hard for her to go to school here.  She is absolutely in love with running, it calms her down, but after practice she goes to work, and then home, and spends all her time doing homework.  It hard on her, she has no time for anything and college is dang expensive. But she didn't want to tell people about it because she wasn't looking for pity. Yes! This is me! Minus the work part, because i'm not doing that right now.  But the "college is too expensive for my family, I don't want pity, but sometimes I need someone to talk to about it" I was so happy to find that. I don't know if I told her enough that I understood exactly what she meant, because I do.  Props to this girl, she works hard at everything she does, and she loves running more than anything i've ever seen.  I am so proud of her.

Shout Out to Kenny Love!

It's his birthday! He's old!

Everyone love Ken a little bit more today.

Speaking of birthdays, I turn 18 tomorrow. Whoa.

Okay, not only am I the youngest person on my team, almost the youngest in my ward, and for sure the youngest in my apartment, I feel so old.

Eighteen?! I can do things by myself now, like sign for myself. 

And call those commercials that say you have to be 18 or older to order.

And now I won't have to lie to get into the tumbling gym. (if youre under 18, you need a parent signature)

I can also buy lottery tickets! Except apparently those don't exist in Utah, anywhere. Lame.

Almost two years ago I had a birthday party at the O'Connels Lake House.

Now i'm in Utah, turning 18, and i'm not really sure what i'm doing for my birthday.

It came so fast!

Crazy stuff.

I have a new obsession.

I told Coralee how lately I really really really love when people cover other songs.  She told me to listen to Boyce Avenue on youtube.  Ho Man, i'm addicted.  They are AWESOME.  They also do mash-ups, which is another favorite of mine.

Did I mention I might be coming home for fall break?

Lets hope I do, because if I don't, i'm going to crawl into a hole and cry.

I miss home so much, so much. Maybe not necessarily Mooresville, but my family, and that boy I snug with that lives across the street, and Rachel, and Bojangles.  If I could just bring all those things to Utah, I promise i'd be set, for life.  I love this place, but I love North Carolina. If I make it home I get to see Jesse perform! He has a solo in his chorus concert.  My littler brother is a balla, sometimes he even tells me he misses me.  Isn't that nice of him? I miss him too.  Its even warm in North Carolina! Like 80 degrees warm, so awesome.  I can't wait.

Everyone pray the flights stay empty so I can make it home with no hassle and no tears.

K, thanks.





*Confession*

I feel like i'm really...open on this mess.

Which I love. It is so freeing, and makes me feel so calm.

Mostly I think its because I don't really know who all is reading this.

I want to know.  Who are you?





Blogging Makes Me Feel Better

Can I please just talk about how much I absolutely LOVE living in Utah?
Cause I do.
Yes, I get sad sometimes.
Yes, I miss home a lot.
But now this place is my home.

Today was a good day, turned bad, turned worse, turned awesome.
We were at dinner group and I figured some things out, I turned into those girls I hate.
Those jealous, freaking out over nothing, blowing things out of proportion girls.
(Although, I feel like everyone needs a spaz moment - I graciously took mine)
I told my roommates.
"find yourself a frill."
"don't even worry, cause we're gonna make you look super hot and take lots of pictures."
"dumb."
"here, just come cuddle with us."
So I did.  We took up almost all of Mike Jones awesome corner couch.
My legs stretched across Coralee and Katelyn and I laid of Coralees shoulder and freaked out.
(I would have snugged with Jenna and Adriana also, but my legs just arent that long)
They made me feel better, i love my roommates.

We went on to Sams apartment.
Sam is our FHE Dad, hes super fly - SUPER.
We waited for him to get off work, had our spiritual thought, and went on with our activity.
It was MUSTACHE MONDAY!
Some colleges have
*Ladies in free before eleven night
*Beer for 16 cents with college I.D.
*and so on...
Here, in the prove, we have mustache monday.
You wear a mustache to this really super cool place called sammys and guess what, you get a free grilled cheese.  FREE.  Do you know what that means to us poor college kids? It means everything.

These are our cool faces.  We weren't allowed to draw them on ourselves, someone else had too.  This is everyone!
(Jenna, Katie, Coralee, Adriana, Sam, Me, John)
And by everyone, I mean everyone who showed up tonight, so not everyone.  Its supposed to be two apartments of girls, two of boys. ...we were missing a few.  But that DID NOT take the fun away from this adventure.  It was the BEST TIME.  It brought my night up to sure a higher note.  We don't do these kinds of things in mooresville, you know? You'd be a freak if you wore a mustache to a restaurant.  Granted, I absolutely love these kids. (And the ones who weren't in this picture)  I love having fun with the dumbest, smallest, FREE activities.

THIS - IS - ME



This is what I want to share with everyone.  The people here are so uplifting, even in simple activities.  Days like this at home I would have just sulked in my room.  Or sulked in Rachels room.  Not here, no sulking allowed.  I was just a little upset (okay, a lot) and I was all the sudden surrounded by the people I love, and that love me, and they made me feel better.

These are my girls, my best friends.



It's Better To Look Up

Gosh, man.  This has been the longest weekend ever.  Usually I wish for long weekends, but this one was more exhausting as the rest.  It was conference weekend.  Don't get me wrong, its not that I don't like conference - it just takes all my energy.  All my roommates were excited for conference, actually excitement was an understatement.  They look forward to hearing it.  Anyways, this really cool thing happened.  I've had this prayer in my heart and i've been waiting for my answer - its been difficult because I havent felt like I got anything - not even any kind of recognition.  But then, i'm sitting there, writing in my journ and Robert D. Hales is speaking, guess what he says. 

"We don't know when the answers to our prayers will come.  They come in pieces, here some, there some.  It's on the Lords time."

He also talked about how if we got everything at once we would be so overwhelmed and we wouldn't be able to take everything in.  You know? Isn't that way cool?! Then I realized something, i've gotten pieces at a time.  They've been discrete, but they've been there at the same time.  Its come through Revelation, a random letter from my sister, and thoughts that came into my head.

I hung out with my friend Kolby last night.  We went and saw one of the converts he taught on his mish at J-Dawgs.  She was here from Arizona for conference. She was talking about how she was sharing the church with one of her friends back home.  She made it sound so easy.  I've been a member all my life and I still feel like I have trouble saying what I want to say to certain people.  Dumb. 

"Love Is Spelled t-e-a-m"

-Ian S. Arden

Maybe my new favorite quote, just maybe.  I feel like this is something a lot of people forget sometimes.  It starts out as a team, raising a family, or just keeping a relationship together.  But often times around us this team falls apart. It no longer becomes about supporting each other, it becomes all about themselves.  Thats when things fall apart.  Everyone needs a somebody.

Oh Yeah! and I went to the BYU game!

I was Coralees date, pretty much cause we're bffs - and we're always each others dates. It was SUCH a good game, if you missed it, you missed....us losing for a long time.  But we pulled through!  And Won! And sent those Aggies home. To be honest, maybe i'm not a huge football fan, but I loved this game.  And I love these people.  Thats Katelyn and her boyfriend Damon.  We all had competitions to see who could yell obnoxiously the longest.  We also took lots of pictures, maybe that made us super obnox. Whoops. I love this place a whole lot.