60 Degrees In March

So, I have a lot to say.
No surprise.
Only, I don't know how to say it.

"I'm just really terrible at making decisions."
"Well yeah...trust me, I know."

"I don't want to stay in Utah for the summer, I want to go home.  I still have friends at home.  I'm a home body, I love being home."
"Well why don't you just go to school in North Carolina?"
Have you ever listened to anything I had to say?

I love school in Utah, I love the people I live with and around.
Is it bad that I love home so much?
Is it bad that I want to go home every chance I get?
No, I don't think it is.
I want to be home for Lyndsis homecoming, and Brads baptism, Jesses play.
I want to see those parts, I want to be close.
But I want the atmosphere of school in Utah.
If anyone can figure that out (with out it costing a bajillion dollars) let a girl know.

And there are also secret combinations, even as in times of old, according to the combinations of the devil, for he is the founder of all these things; yea, the founder of murder, and works of darkness; yea, and he leadeth them by the neck with a flaxen cord, until he bindeth them with his strong cords forever. 

--2 Nephi 26:22

"A flaxen core can be an obligation we feel to have people in our life, even if they're not good for you.  It then changes from a flaxen cord to a strong cord, we feel required to stay with them."

This was part of Coralee's lesson on Sunday. The quote above is something my friend Mike brought up during class. We do things that at the time don't sound like a big deal, we're around people we shouldn't be, but we don't think its going to go anywhere.  Those are tiny flaxen cords that we get caught up in and before we know it we're so tied down that we can't get out by ourselves.  Hello High School. I choose to come to Utah to get away from the very flaxen cords that I felt like were holding me down. Pause. I'm not saying I didn't have great friends in high school, I did.  I had people who stuck up for me, and people I could trust.  But I needed more. That is why i'm here.

I applied for another job today.

I did my laundry.

I cleaned my apartment.

I wore short sleeves, sandals, and capri pants today.

I feel good.

Good Things Come In Elevens.

So usually i'm really opposed to these types of things, and I feel like it brings me back to my myspace days where all I did was take surveys for hours.  But lets face it, lately I have a lot of trouble trying to think of things to say on here.  I signed on to blogger and was thrilled to see pretty much everyone I follow had posted something, I finally had something to read.  One in particular, Siovhan.  Shes friends with Lyndsi, and maybe i've never met her but I just read everything shes ever says.  She had this on hers and the whole time I was reading it I had the thought, "I sure hope she tags me at the end so I can do it too." And she did! I was so happy! So here we go.


There are six rules.
1. Post these rules.
2. Post 11 random things about yourself.
3. Answer the questions set for you in the original post (i.e., Siovhans for me).
4. Create 11 new questions and tag people to answer them.
5. Go to their blog and tell them you've tagged them.
6. No saying, "If you are reading this, you're tagged."

11 Facts About Me

1. I  always tell people I wish I could be a mermaid.  I mean this one hundred percent. I love the ocean, I love not wearing real clothes, and I would never have to shower.  All of these things are my favorite things. My life would be great, except I don't enjoy eating fish.

2. I'm terrible at eating soup, really.  Especially vegetable soup, no matter how hungry I am I can take two bites and then decide i'm no longer hungry. I just don't enjoy it.

3. I eat things in circles.  Bojangles biscuits, cookies, Big Macs, if its a circle i'm going to eat whole outside first before I even think of eating the middle.

4. When I was younger I had a cat named Ginger who either died, or we gave her away.  One day Corey and my Dad told me that Gingerale was made out of the left overs from our cat, I believed them.  I still have trouble drinking gingerale to this day.

5. I am an organized pack rat.  I keep EVERYTHING. I have this thought in my head that one day I might need a t-shirt with a bunch of holes in it, so why would I throw it away now? Also, I have all the notes my friends have ever given me from middle school to high school - they're saved in a shoe box in my closet.

6. I hate wearing shoes.  But the only time I enjoy being barefoot is if i'm outside.  Otherwise, I just wish I could wear socks anywhere.

7. Socks are my all time favorite thing to buy. Seriously. Whenever I decide I deserve a reward, its usually a new pack of neon, decorated socks. I'm obsessed.  

8. I'd rather have my nail polish chipped than  fully done, it really doesn't bother me. I think chipped nail polish says, "I'm willing to be a girl, but i'm okay with getting dirty too"

9. I am the laziest athlete you will ever meet.  I don't really know if I can still call myself an athlete, since i'm not playing a sport anymore.  Outside of practices, I never worked on myself to get better, or be in better shape, I never wanted too.  I'm naturally fast and I just thought that was all I would ever need.  I envy people who have the drive to work even harder to be better at their sport, or the drive to just be able to get back into shape.

10. I love love love reality TV.  The Challege, The Hills, Dance Moms, The Real World. Seriously, I love them. 

11. I own a pair of sweatpants that I never plan on getting rid of.  They're my grey track sweatpants from my freshman year (they're Mens mediums, they still swallow me). These pants have been through everything with me.  Breakups, Movies, Stuffing my face, Make ups, confrontations, everything.  They're pretty much my best friend.  I've worn holes in the heels where I walk on them, and my pockets are barely hanging on, but I can't ever bring myself to get rid of them.

Siovhans Questions For Me:
1. What's your favorite way to spend any "me time" you have? 
I really love writing in my journal.  I have things written down everywhere.  Random papers, my actual journal, and countless documents on my computer.  But since I got netflix I find myself spending the majority of my time on there.  I love that mess.  I started watching Greys Anatomy again from the very beginning, I'm addicted all over again.
2. If you could live any place in the world for six months, where would it be? 
As cliche as the answer is, I really think I would live on the beach.  Probably the Outer Banks, its my favorite place in the whole world.  But I wouldn't want to be by myself, I would want my whole family together.
3. What's the best advice your mom and/or dad ever gave you? 
Before any test, game, or meet my dad always tells me, "Maim and Kill Lacey".  So be legit, and take people down.  I was good at doing this kinda thing during soccer, track was a different story.  My mom always tells me to do what will make me happy, and what I think is right.  But that no matter what I choose she will always be my number one fan.  She shows this too me everyday.
4. What's your favorite book? Why? 
I always say Tuck Everlasting.  I just have the best memories of this book.  We read it as a class in the 4th grade and I remember it being one of the first stories I really fell in love with.  The idea of living forever sounds awesome until you realize what that actually means for you and your family.  And the people that have the ability to live for forever don't want it because you see too many terrible things and you have to keep moving your life around.  
5. Do you want a pet? What's your ideal pet? 
I have always really wanted an Elephant of Giraffe.  But thats not idea for any kind of household unless I was too live in a zoo.  I really loved my cat, Cutie.  I loved my dog too but she was never the cuddly fetch playing kind, more like she would run away if we left the door open.  But I would love a cuddly dog.  Standard Answer: Cat or Dog.
6. If you could buy any one item regardless of cost, what would it be? 
The cooking staff of Bojangles and Cookout.  Then I could have my favorite meals when ever I wanted.
7. What do you hope your legacy will be? 
I really hope my children will think of me the way I think of my parents and my grandparents. I want to be the one who was always willing to help and be nice to the ones who didn't have anyone else.  I want to be remembered by my students the way I remember Mr. Chappell and Mrs. Davis.  I want to open their eyes and make them love English and literature.  Also, being remembered for having good legs, or you know, being the first person to convince Cookout and Bojangles to open a restaurant in Provo wouldn't be bad either.
8. Who's your hero?
I just really really really love all the women in my family. They're all strong in different ways, they can make a meal out of nothing, and they always take care of everyone.
9. How would you classify your personal style? 
Lazy.  I can dress up look like a real girl, but I don't really enjoy doing that all the time.  I love t-shirts, and my sweatpants, and wearing shoes that aren't heels.  Also, i'm usually in a sweatshirt, and my hair usually ends up in a ponytail by the end of the day.  I'm never really up to date on the cool thing to wear, and if I do know about it I usually can't afford it. 
10. What do you consider your best personality trait? 
I would like to think i'm really laid back.  I don't need to be entertained when i'm with people, I don't need expensive dinners, or big gestures.  I just really love watching movies, and eating.
11. Do you have a favorite sports team? 
I wish I could say I really watched sports so this could happen.  Uhmmm, go Carolina!


Questions for the friends I tag:
1. What is your biggest pet peeve?

2. If you could be written into any movie or book, which one would be and why?

3. Whats your favorite part about yourself?

4. If you could stay a certain age for forever, what age would it be?

5. If a soundtrack was to be made of your life, what are 3 songs that would be included?

6. Whats your favorite meal?

7. What makes you the most nervous? 

8. Where is your favorite place to be?

9. Do you have any hidden talents? 

10. What is your first thought when you wake up?

11. Wheres Waldo?

Friends I Tag:

Adriana, Ashley, Yiselle, and Calvin

I'm Still Alive

Lets start off with something cool that I just figured out.
Since I started my blog 923 people have seen it one way or another from tons of different places!
United States: 821
Russia: 57
Germany: 11
Malaysia: 5
Canada: 2
Colombia: 1
Brazil: 1
Ecuador: 1
United Kingdom: 1
Indonesia: 1

In all honesty, I just want to know who all the people are in Russia reading my words.
Hi to you all.

For the rest of you, i'm still here!
Still alive!
I had a minor road block in my life there, then something really really great happened to me..

This lady came home! And as this picture indicates, I went home to visit her! The original plan was that no one in my family was supposed to know besides my parents, thus the siblings would all be surprised.  Although talking rather loudly runs in my family so eventually word spread across the house and the surprise was no more.  Main point of the story, I went home! And I love love love my home, even if I have to sit on unbearable flights to get there.  (For the record, I love Provo also, and I love college here.  But home is home and no one loves my family like I do.)  While at home I did many things I love to do while i'm at home.
1. Me and Jesse took a trip to cookout. (Of course, its our place) We talked mostly about  how we hate everyone around us and how everyone sucks.  It was a very heart warming conversation.
2. I pretty much did anything but sleep.
3. I shopped all day long with all the women in my family
4. Saw two of my best guy friends, it was like nothing ever changed.
5. Didn't study for ASL (aced my test anyways).

On a different note..
- Cleaning checks are today, it took me AN HOUR AND A HALF to clean our fridge last night.  Really, I don't think there is a girls apartment nastiest than ours.
- I went to vegas this weekend, true story.
- I still miss my long hair
- I miss running.
- I may have the most comfortable bed ever.
- I still don't have a job.
-I have the most adorable (almost) 8 year old brother ever.

Bradley: "Ya know Harry Houdini?"

Lyndsi: "Yeah".

Bradley: "I know how he died..."

Lyndsi: "How?"

Bradley: "He got punched by an old lady!"

Lyndsi: "What!?"

Bradley: "Yeah! In the kidney!"

Seriously, why is he so cool?

Sugar Pie, Honey Bun

Lyndsi comes home in EIGHT days.
CELEBRATION.
Just thought ya'll should know.

You're So Vain You Probably Think This Post Is About You

Who are we kidding, its totally about you.

Last Thursday was a rough day.

I went all day with out talking to the person I usually talk to everyday.  

What, A whole 24 hours? What a drama queen. Hey you, shut up.

Anyways, I go to get in bed and as instinct I check my facebook one last time.

4 Notifications.

(Now, my facebook hasn't been blowin up lately these days so you can imagine my excitement.)

2 likes, 2 comments.

This was my thought when I saw who they were from.

"Oh no."

These were my thoughts when I actually looked at each notification.

"So you won't talk to me, but you'll go through my facebook to let me know you're obviously thinking about talking to me? Dumb." "Oh wait, I was the one who choose this, I was the one that asked for me heart back" "Breathe Lacey, you have no reason to freak out."

Then I felt like I was going to throw up anyways.

I picked up my phone.

"Sometimes I look at those pictures at night too"

"Its hard not too"

"What are you thinking about all of this?"

"I'm usually able to distract myself so I don't have to think about anything, but I just couldn't tonight."

The sick to my stomach feeling came back.

Relationships are dumb.

I hate this process.

********

"Did you finish writing your sister yet? I know you said you had a lot of thoughts."

Lots of thoughts?

Story of my life.

I wrote my letter.

My scattered, emotional, boy story letter.

It takes 3 days for a letter to leave me in Utah and reach Lyndsi in California.

I mailed my letter Monday, so she got it Wednesday - Thursdayish.

With it being Monday again, its P-Day.  Email Day.

I checked my email before every class, after every class, and sometimes even during class.

Finally I had one new email.

It was the one Lyndsi sends to the whole family, the one that we post on her blog.

It was not the one I wanted.  

I know she would email me something to tell me she got the letter, especially with what was in the letter.

I love you and I'm writing you back today!

Do me a favor this week and do something that makes you feel good.  I'm worried about you.

Love You!

Relief flowed through me.

and then I cried.  (I'm a little emotional these days).

Do something that makes me feel good.

I automatically started making a list in my head of things that help me do this.

-Bojangles.

-Cookout Tray.

But those don't exist in Utah, therefore I had to be reevaluate. 

I like grocery shopping.  There is just something about knowing if it came down too it, and I was stuck in that building for a few weeks - I would be okay.  Plus, I really really like food.

-I looked up fun recipes and bought the ingredients tonight.

-I made a super neat grocery list.

-I sang loudly.

-I made a list of all the places i'm going to go apply for jobs at tomorrow.

-I put all my shoes back into my basket.

-I did some homework.

-I went to FHE.

-I talked to my mom for a few minutes.

-I kept my normal clothes on instead of changing into sweatpants.

-I studied my sign language.

-I went to BYU campus with Coralee and Katelyn.

-I told myself that i'm going to be okay.

-I shaved my legs.

I'm feeling better.

But other things that have made me feel better these past few days are things that I have had no control over.

-I taught my lesson in Relief Society. (CORRECTION: I CRIED all through my lesson in Relief Society.)

But mostly, people participated in my lesson.  I love participation, I love hearing peoples stories instead of only telling mine.

-One of my visiting teachers stopped by because she was walking past my door and just wanted to make sure I was having a good day and to see if I needed anything.

-Corey called me to his apartment and showed me how parts in our Patriarchal Blessings match up.

-Coralee bought me Wendys on a whim.

-Adriana made chocolate chip banana bread muffins...twice.

-I keep running into countless amounts of track kids all over campus.

-I was able to eat Sunday dinner with Coralee and her family.

-My Mamaw and Papaw sent me a letter.

Things are tough.

There is snow on the ground.

My feet get cold a lot.

I'll suck it up.

I'll embrace the snow.

I'll wear thicker socks.

Just A Little Bit of Marketing

Since i've already tweeted and facebooked about it, I might as well blog about it too.

Ali Shields Ya'll! Check her out! I ran with her at UVU.  She is hands down the nicest person you will ever meet.  And the personality you see in this audition, thats real, thats her, thats 24/7.  She gave us the ins and out of how the auditions work at practice one day, and then we made her sing and dance for us.  Now look! Shes on American Idol! #teamalishields Want to see more things shes done? Just youtube her name, no joke.
Shes legit.

Swim For The Brighter Days

"I don't kiss the boys I actually like."
"The only reason I went to school today was because it was the first day."
"Why is everyone so marriage hungry? Welcome to Utah."
"I didn't realize I just sat us in the middle of three guys who we no longer talk too.  This is awkward."
"I feel like youre a little sad, you should find a tanning bed, get some fake sun therapy."
"I'll be patient with you."
"I'm stressin out because I feel like I can't talk to the person who always stops me from stressin out."
"I just want to eat something bad for me."
"Maybe i'll just write him on his mission, make him fall in love with me, and then date him when he gets home. It's a fool proof plan."
"Lacey, the hard part is over now."
"You just hit about four different emotions in less than five minutes."
"Over everything else, i'm your best friend - remember that."
"Heavenly Father probably just wanted to humble you.  He was probably thinking, 'she things shes doing really well right now, she needs to calm down."
"Coralee, want to come to a bonfire?" "I'll go if Lacey goes."
"Lacey, want to go to a bonfire?!" "I don't know, is Coralee going!?"
These things have been my past week.
Thats all I have to say about that.

You know that moment when you're listening to your teacher, but then you realize you really stopped listening a long time ago?  At least with a voice you can retain some sort of information, or catch key words.  In my ASL class, i'm not so lucky.  I usually have no idea what my professor is trying to tell us anyways, but I find myself watching him - and then zoning out more than usual.  We're not allowed to speak in his class, only sign.  Today we had to write down five words, at first he didn't tell us why.  (Or maybe he did, but I didn't understand).  Then after a lot of explaining and gestures we figured out that we had to sign our words across the room to our partner using the finger alaphbet.  Needless to say my words changed from: Running, Soccer, Food, Showering, and Bus to Eat, Run, Clean, Dog, but I of course kept Food.  I find this language so interesting, and so beautiful.  Watching my teacher trying to get his point across, and having to use his facial expressions reminds me why I took this class.  He is so patient with us.  He was born deaf, so was his parents, and his sister - therefore he never had to learn how to read lips.  As of right now, I can only spell a few things, but I love it. 

My life feels cluttered.

But instead of cleaning out my life - I deal with it in other ways.

I organize my pinterest boards.

I clean out from under my bed.

I bake, and then clean all my dishes immediately after.

I sleep.

I start a million different letters to Lyndsi but I never end up getting anywhere because either I write too slow and then so much more information happens - or I can't write her name as pretty as I want along the top so I get frustrated and give up.

Someone send me some fried chicken please.